How to Build Working Relationships

Good working relationships lay at the heart of any successful life.  All social interactions rely on communication. It is through communication that we develop trust and integrity between individuals.  Development of relationships therefore rely on developing a sense of  mutual trust between two individuals. The best way to do this is to create a rapport.  Before you expect others to listen to you it is important that they feel comfortable and relaxed in your presence. This should be the case with all people in all situations from friends to the local shop assistant.

Why? Because being a good communicator should be a way of life not a tap that you just switch off and on at a given moment. Being an effective communicator requires consistency in your habits and behaviours. It is hard to make something natural if you are not doing it all the time. Be a good communicator as much as possible and eventually it will become part of your habits.

In our working relationships being able to communicate well is essential for creating the all important first impression.  You may not realise this,  but the judgements we form of  someone in the first 10-15 seconds of meeting them are the most important in terms of the attitude they take to us. If you want to make a good impression in business then getting respected in the first 10-15 seconds is  crucial for success,.

It is important to distinguish between mutual respect and liking someone. It is not always necessary to like the person you are talking to in order to develop a good line of communication. In business it is more important to be mutually respectful with one another rather than trying to be one another’s best friend. In fact trying to  be like a friend could actually prove counter productive.. It can make you appear to be disingenuous rather than honest and open.

So where do we begin if we want to heighten our communication skills. Well first of all lets think about what makes a good conversation. A good conversation should be a two way process between two individuals who have made a connection with one another.  The way to tell whether this connection has been established or not, is when you experience a sense of trust and respect with another person.   This process is initiative it should feel right – that is the way to tell.

Think of the signals you make towards someone you feel comfortable with. Your body language is likely to be honest and open. You are likely to make eye contact. Your tone of voice will probably be calm and relaxed. Contrast this with the way you are with someone you feel less comfortable around.  Once you have identified the behaviours you exhibit when you are comfortable around someone think about how you can include these in all your dealings with people.

The way we interact with others comes through a variety of influences. Among these are – the places and people you spend your time with. The way you look – and just as importantly – the way you feel that you look.  Your own self esteem plays a major part in the interactions you make with others. It is no coincidence that the people most at ease in conversation are those people who have the confidence and belief in themselves.

Your value systems and beliefs inform much of your decision making so it is no surprise to hear that they are also critical in your interactions with people. If you are naturally suspicious of other people then do not be surprised to find that you too are seen as untrustworthy. Why? Because you are going to be  more likely to act in a way that discourages others to trust you.   So therefore an open mind ot others is important in sending the right signals of trust and honesty.

Experts on relationship building all agree on one thing. It is possible to become an expert communicator by learning how to adapt your body language signals according to the individual you are communicating with.  We call this following body language cues. Simple things like breathing in unison and adopting a similar body stance and posture are massive in reassuring the other person on the subconscious level. 

Similarly with verbal communication, adopt a similar tone of voice and rhythm to your speech. Remember though that this should be a subtle incorporation rather than an impersonation  

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How to Deal with Anger

Lets’ face it , we all get angry from time to time. In fact when we look around at the world we can see that anger is a pretty common emotion. Any walk down a high street in a busy town centre reveals people losing it in cars, or parents getting mad with their kids.  The fact is that anger is part of the human condition. However, we tend to associate anger as being among the negative emotion set. This is not strictly true, for anger comes in more than one form.
Anger can actually be a great motivator and drive you on to achieve things. If you have ever been put down by someone, and felt that hot flush feeling in your cheeks, you will know what I am talking about here. Anger can make people stand up for what they believe in, and for others. It is anger that led to the civil rights movement, the emancipation of women and many other noble causes. Remember that dealing with anger does not entail becoming a placid individual.
We need to distinguish the difference between healthy and unhealthy anger. We looked at healthy anger just now so let’s turn to unhealthy anger. This form of anger is typified by rage and hate in response to the mildest of provocation. Possessing anger on this level is immensely difficult. It can make forming relationships impossible, and cause breakdowns in current ones. Many people who end up in prison for violent acts are there from an inability to control their emotional response to a trigger.
On a physical level this negative from of anger manifests itself in various ways. You may suffer from anxiety and stress. It is also likely that you will feel uncomfortable in the company of others. Individuals who get angry all the time often do so at other people, for that reason they often find themselves feeling isolated and cut off from others. Being this type of angry is a pretty unpleasant experience for all involved.
You may recognise some of the characteristics of this particular form of anger. These include insisting that others do not insult or ridicule you. Another tell tale sign that you have unhealthy anger issues is if you are the sort of person who places very rigid demands and rules about the behaviour of others.  Your personality will tend to be domineering and over powering towards others. A person with anger issues typically expects total conformity to their will, yet will not regard their own behaviour as unreasonable.
This type of anger typically results in physical attacks towards other, but that is not all. Scheming, plotting, taking revenge, manipulating others, are all associated with people with anger issues. Warning signals include a raised heart beat and muscular tension in the shoulders and neck. It is often a feeling that overwhelms the individual to the point that it consumes them.
In order to overcome this type of anger you are going to have to be serious about changing your outlook on the world. Anger, as with any emotion, is underpinned by your attitudes and belief systems. It is not good enough to just say you want to be less angry about things. With that in mind let’s think for a moment about the type of negative thoughts that belong to someone with severe anger issues.  Do you find yourself thinking:  “ I will get what I want and whenever I want it  “, or       “ The world must not ever be unfair especially to me ?”
It is important to reshape the attitudes and beliefs you have to accommodate the world around you, instead of being just for yourself.   Ask yourself what type of person is it that you want to be. Happy successful and emotionally healthy individuals are typically tolerant and accepting of others. They understand the complexities of the world around them and shift and adapt accordingly.

Emotionally healthy individuals are shaped from healthy attitudes. They understand that life can be hard and annoying, sometimes despite our best efforts to prevent it. The higher functioning person looks at life in a way that is philosophical and reflective, instead of dwelling or getting morose. Explaining your anger is the easy part, changing it requires self-discipline and will power.  Once you have agreed on your new attitudes it is important to act in accordance with them.

Please visit: http://selfconfidencemagic.com for a FREE Ecourse and Video on how to Quickly And Easily Destroy Negative Thinking Patterns And Become More Confident And Powerful Overnight”

4 Steps Towards Your Life goals

If this comes as a shock then I am sorry to break the news to you that life changes whether you like it or not. The times move and we either move with them or we fall. It is a simple and blunt assessment but actually it is a very good thing. Imagine how boring a static world would be , think about  a world without development or creativity – where people have remained the same from lack of experience.

To survive in a modern vibrant world you need to be a modern vibrant person.  Accepting that change in the world is essential is a good first step to take. Now ask yourself this question,  ‘am I willing to maximise my own potential in this world too ‘
If you have answered yes (as I hope you have) then lets think about the steps you can take to maximise your potential and achieve your goals.  Take advantage of a world of limitless potential and you put yourself in the driving seat for a change.
Becoming Aware, This may sound simple but believe me it is not as simple as it appears.  Analysis without awareness results in faulty judgements and defective reasoning.  Do you remember the cartoons where a devil and an angel would appear on a characters shoulders whispering into alternate ears? Well our minds are not all that far from being wired like that.  We are often driven by conscience and rash impulse in equal measure. A dollop of awareness puts you in the driving seat to make the right choices.
Internal conflict comes hand in hand with being the amazing life-form that you are. Some people fail to make the right judgement calls and end up being caught in a state of eternal flux. Others end up making the very worst judgement calls and end up on life’s scrap heap. 
Awareness means being able to make the right call on when to take a punt and when it is right to err on the side of caution.  Develop it with introspection, honesty and common sense.  Listen to the advice of others but remember to always be your own master.
Define Your Success, What actually is success? One way to look at it is the achievement of a pre specified   target, outcome or goal. However, success is a highly subjective thing that implies different things to different people.  What would equate to being a success for you? Would it be finding the perfect partner, becoming a better friend, making lots of money? 
Clearly define your what success means to you and lo and behold you have your goal.  Think about how you would know that you are successful in your own right.  What is it about you that is special that can make you achieve it. Try to condense your definition of success in to aims, means and outcomes.
Think on Desirable Outcomes, People have a tendency to define an event based on the way they felt at the time rather than with hind sight. Actually we are much wiser after an event than we are in the heat of the moment. The great thing about heightened introspection is that you are able to think with greater clarity and focus about all outcomes.
Learning from experience is the single best way to develop introspection.  It gives you the confidence to try different things, and to experiment with different approaches.  To reach your desired outcome you just need to think about it like a challenge to be solved.  Use your awareness to create a curiosity about the world and your surroundings. Outcomes are best achieved with a flexible and adaptive state of mind.
Use Your Intuition , We all have gut feelings about different things. Many of the world’s most important decisions have been made with intuition.  The eureka moment we get every now and again is a heightened version of this.  Why is it that some of our finest moments happen  when we are not even thinking about it?
There is no clear reason for this but it seems to be down to a relaxed state of mind. When the mind is not under pressure it has time to dedicating it’s time to creative and productive thought.  Relaxed focus is one of the most powerful tools in the personal development locker.
Try not to over analyse a situation too much and you will benefit from  greater clarity of thought in your decision making.

Please visit: http://selfconfidencemagic.com for a FREE Ecourse and Video on how to Quickly And Easily Destroy Negative Thinking Patterns And Become More Confident And Powerful Overnight”

How to Deal with Dissatisfaction

A few years ago I woke up one morning looked in the mirror and felt that something was not right. It was difficult to put my finger on what exactly the problem was but it was there nonetheless. I sat down on my bed and thought hard about who I was and where I was going. Fearing the onset of some sort of ‘life crisis’ I realised that there was nothing specific wrong with me I was just unsatisfied with  life in general.
 If you have ever felt that strange feeling that something is not quite right in your life then you will know what I am talking about here.  Sometimes when it comes to changing things around in our lives we have very little specifically to go on.  Having a fixed goal like losing weight or quitting smoking is great, but for many of us what we need us to curb that niggling doubt at the back of our mind. What we need to do is take stock of ourselves and see what is really going on upstairs.
One of the benefits of personal development is that it can encourage all the healthy parts of you to grow and the less savoury parts to whither on the vine.  It can improve our general well being and make us more harmonious inside.  All of our emotional processes, our attitudes and values , our beliefs and motivations are interconnected. A holistic approach to ourselves improves our being as a whole.
Personal development is the key to building meaningful and satisfying relationships. By looking at the  parts you will begin to understand the whole. By making a commitment now to who you are and where you want to be your life can improve in many different ways.  In the sense that the act of personal development is as rewarding as the goal itself it is a win win situation.
Lets imagine for a moment that you decide to create a purpose in your life by losing weight. You set yourself goal of half a stone a month for 6 months.  At the end of the 6 months you find out you have just missed out on your target by half a stone. For a second you feel disconsolate but then it hits you. You may have missed your target but look at who you are now- more driven , more motivated . You have higher levels of concentration and a more committed character. In short you have become exactly the sort of person many others aspire to be despite not reaching your goal.
So there is much to be gained from personal development other than the tangible goal itself.  So many people are dissatisfied because they have not quite reached the level of personality they want to be at .  The good thing is that that feeling of dissatisfaction is the first stage of self awareness. It is self awareness that  forms the bedrock of personal development as I will explain next.
Through knowing yourself you understand yourself. Once you understand yourself you can take action to correct the defects that you have detected.  It is like going on a voyage of self discovery. Once you have returned from the voyage you are wiser and more confident in yourself and who you are.  The great thing about self-awareness is that it is great for revealing what you are capable of.
Few people truly understand the importance of self –awareness.  Once you have developed it to a high level you can plan the way you tackle your goals more effectively.  Self-awareness is about mastering growth and development. It gives you the ability to master your environment to the best of your ability.  It can help you when you are down because you will know why you are down!  Developing a heightened sense of self-awareness through introspection and honest self  appraisal is one of the single most important things you can do in your life.
Conquering general dissatisfaction can seem difficult at times and maintaining commitment can be problematic.  The fact is that setbacks are part and parcel of growth and development.  Being able to accept the bad times with the good times means being able to roll with the punches.  Accept that there are good days and bad days and become more flexible and pliant to the obstacles in your way.  Make the promise to yourself that no matter how dissatisfied you feel now life is only going to get better.
Please visit: http://selfconfidencemagic.com for a FREE Ecourse and Video on how to Quickly And Easily Destroy Negative Thinking Patterns And Become More Confident And Powerful Overnight”

The Secrets of Goal Setting and Personal Development

Personal success happens when we make the right decision at the right time. Most of us have an idea of the type of person we would like to be, but few of us take the time to turn this into a reality. A lack of perspective is often the biggest reason for this. People tend to take their lives for granted, which is a shame when we think about the good we can do for our lives when we think about them.
Having a goal is great because it injects purpose into our lives. You may already have a broad idea of a goal you would like to achieve. If this is the case, then now is the point to turn it into something specific. For instance, if you are looking to lose weight think about how much weight you would like to lose and in what time. The brain works best when it receives clear instructions. If you were asked to do something vague by your boss at work you would ask them to clarify what they mean. A specific goal is a clear instruction.  
A measure of self awareness is essential in critical decision making. After all if we do not feel in control of ourselves then how can we expect to take control over our own destiny and circumstance?  As with any other extreme though an extreme amount of self awareness can be detrimental. It can cause us to be too fearful of the consequence of tasking action. In addition, what we shall call ‘extreme self awareness’  can lead us to being overly judgemental of our experiences and actions. So how do we get the balance right? Well fortunately help is at hand.
Self awareness is the key to taking the correct initiative. If we are confident and honest with ourselves, then naturally it follows that we will take action that is balanced between knowledge and a desire to get things done. Rash decision making  should be replaced with calm rational and decisive  action.  The difference between success and failure can be made in a snap decision.  By being self aware you are conscious of your own skills and your limitations. It is important to not confuse confidence with arrogance. If you are planning a new business venture make sure you have done as much research as possible. Make your goal a calculated risk.
Ignorance is the enemy of success. What is even worse than ignorance is self enforced ignorance. This is self induced ignorance brought about by a reluctance to challenge existing knowledge and look for alternatives. Being able to find an alternative solution to a problem is what creates innovation and competition. Without this key asset we wouldn’t have different companies or products. This is why you must maintain an open mind combined with self awareness to get your goal setting spot on.
There are unhelpful character traits that will inhibit a successful outcome to initiative taking. One of the first things you need to eliminate is any elements of procrastination from your character. If you are the sort of person who says ‘it can wait till next week ‘frequently then this applies to you.  The reason why this is so important is that your mind set directly effects your behaviour and daily habits. Even being lazy towards somewhat trivial things in a business can have a corrosive effect on your  overall attitude.
Taking control of your life is the key to securing long term success. Regardless of whether we were born rich or poor we all have the ability to manage our lives in a way to ensures we reach our true potential . The refrain ‘It was due to circumstances beyond my control’  is a commonly used excuse among people.  The problem with excuses such as these is that they are defeatist. Rather than getting us to look for solutions to our problems, they encourage us  to accept our fate as if we were helpless.
The truth is that when it comes to dealing with the circumstances that affect us in our daily lives, that we are happy to deal with the good but not so content to deal with the bad. This might seem an obvious point but the most successful people are not only able to triumph over adversity but are able to draw strength from it. Personal development will help you to become like this sort of person.

Please visit: http://selfconfidencemagic.com for a FREE Ecourse and Video on how to Quickly And Easily Destroy Negative Thinking Patterns And Become More Confident And Powerful Overnight”

How to Sustain Emotional Wellbeing

Our personal characteristics play a major role in our overall happiness. Research has suggested that as much as 25% of what makes us happy in life derives from things such as flexibility, our outlook on life and resilience. Hardy people tend to bounce back from setbacks and remain positive. Some of our characteristics we inherit, but there is a great deal you can do to instil healthy characteristics within you. Personal development can help you to improve your emotional wellbeing.  You should get into the habit of questioning unhelpful and unhealthy thought patterns.
People manage their emotions in various ways; for instance, some people like to bottle things up on side whereas others prefer to explode at the slightest provocation. Where do you think you fit on the emotional management spectrum? If you are sitting at either of the two extremes,  you are allowing yourself to be managed by your emotions not the other way round. Since it can be very hard to judge yourself objectively, you should think of different scenarios and imagine your reaction to them.
We all have a personal emotional spectrum that makes us capable of being interesting, unique characters, for that reason you should not think of emotional management as a form of brainwashing. However, what it does entail is managing responses that are negative or violent in nature.  People who react violently to any provocation do so because they are lacking in emotional maturity. If you go off the rails at people for no reason, the chances are that you are only able to see the world in straight lines.
People who are excessively angry at minor provocation are lacking in perspective. Rather than seeing a problem as an irritant, they become enraged at any situation. This type of behaviour is unnecessary and   destructive. An individual who acts in this way is unable to make specific observations about their feelings. They are often rash and impulsive towards other people. If you are somebody who suffers from severe anger issues, you should really consider getting professional help.
Of course, not all emotional problems are quite as extreme as anger problems, but there are still things we can learn from anger management theory. Anger management tries to get the individual to see in degrees of emotion instead of extremes. An anger management expert will try to instil an emotional spectrum in the individual – encouraging behaviours that are in proportion to the event. In many cases, someone with anger issues are often angry about themselves. They may, for example, be annoyed at their own personal shortcomings. This rage then manifests itself as an external projection on to other people. Treating anger often involves encouraging an individual to love who they are.
Being able to meet the situation with an appropriate response, is the main reason why being able to specify what yourare feeling is so important. For instance, are you angry at that person because you are upset or because you are jealous about something to do with that individual? The clearer you can be in identifying a problem will produce a more accurate response to it.  The thing is, identifying an emotion can be tricky to those unaccustomed to it. For a bit of fun, try the following exercise.
Get a pen and paper and write down as many positive emotions you can think of. Next to each emotion, write down a time you have felt it and what physical feeling it gave you. Now do the same thing with negative emotions on a separate piece of paper. You should  include experiences such as muscle tension, nausea and butterflies in your stomach.
Now relive the positive emotional  experience. To do this, focus on one of the memories that gave you a positive experience. As you do this, notice how the physical sensation returns. Notice how swiftly you can begin to affect real physical changes in your body.
The power of the mind should never be underestimated by any one. This little demonstration shows how easy it is for us to create physical sensations just with the power of thought. Of course, imagining an emotion is just half the solution; expressing them in a meaningful way is the next problem you need to work on. However, the fact that you are already taking steps in the right direction is a positive thing. You should now think about moving on to the next stage to fully manage your emotions.

Please visit: http://selfconfidencemagic.com for a FREE Ecourse and Video on how to Quickly And Easily Destroy Negative Thinking Patterns And Become More Confident And Powerful Overnight”

The Power of Beliefs

When was the last time you questioned who you are and what you stand for? The chances are it was quite a while ago because, like most people, you take yourself for granted. Few of us think in enough depth about our beliefs, yet they are essential to our very being. Before embarking on a course of personal development, we need to confront our beliefs head on.
A belief is a feeling of conviction about something specifically related to yourself. Beliefs have a direct  impact on our character and behaviour. We can divide beliefs in to two simple categories – positive and negative. A positive belief leads to positive actions like setting goals and targets. Negative beliefs are associated with negative behaviours – like self paranoia. Beliefs are activated by different personality traits.  In the case of negative beliefs, the inner critic is a major contributor.
The little voice we hear in our head sometimes telling us we are no good is what life coaches refer to as the inner critic. An inner critic is fine and actually important in small doses. However, if the balance becomes upset, our inner critic can become a detrimental force. All the hard work you may have put into building yourself up can be wiped away in an instant by an unchecked inner critic.
On the other hand, we have the inner coach. This is the voice of confidence and encouragement. It is the voice of hope and the gateway to success. Your inner coach is the part of you that checks for solutions not problems. The inner coach provides you with inspiration and vitality. When it comes to building success, your inner coach is the voice to listen to.  
You should decide which of the two voices are the loudest in your mind. Are you your own coach or your own worst enemy? It is far easier to criticise than to make something which is why the inner critic tends to be the most prevalent in ordinary people. Extraordinary people have that little bit extra. Extraordinary people have a finely tuned inner coach.
All you are doing by developing your inner coach is making your mind work for you. Think for a second about how incredible the human brain is. It is more powerful than all the worlds computers combined. The brain contains within it almost limitless potential. What a shame it is, therefore, to use it against us rather than for us! We all have the chance to be extraordinary, yet so many people sit in the doldrums because they are unable to harness the latent power of the mind.
The mind can waste a lot of energy on detrimental beliefs. Remember that a belief is not a fact! You should not think that what you believe about yourself today is necessarily true. People have had some crazy beliefs over the years. For instance, entire cultures have developed on the belief of the world being flat, or that gods live up in the sky. Unless you have taken the time to explore yourself, you run the risk of holding some unhelpful beliefs about yourself. But where do beliefs come from?
Some of our beliefs originate in our childhood.

The opinions of our elders shape our self image in childhood. Therapists spend a lot of their time unravelling problematic self images of people that begin in childhood. It is amazing to think that our childhood never really leaves us. Instead, it becomes buried to the very core of our being. Life is a process of change and development. However, without being aware of the things that have made us who we are there is little chance of us controlling this change.

Please visit: http://selfconfidencemagic.com for a FREE Ecourse and Video on how to Quickly And Easily Destroy Negative Thinking Patterns And Become More Confident And Powerful Overnight”

The Power of Positive Thought

A positive frame of mind is important for so many reasons. Positive thinking is proven to enhance performance in productivity and quality. We tend to think more creatively and perform better when we are feeling positive and well.  When you are on top form, your confidence levels will go through the roof and this can only help you in your work and personal life. If you can sustain yourself with regular challenges and honest self appraisal, the benefits are enormous.
Fear induces us to put the brakes on; to stop thinking in a productive way.  Fear of poverty, of losing face, of being proved wrong hold us back from taking part in active decision making. As our judgement becomes clouded with negative thinking, we become timid in the face of adversity.

Opportunity becomes redefined as an impossible challenge and we end up standing still whilst the rest of the world passes us by. Negative emotions are emotions such as anger, fear, anxiety, jealousy regret, sadness. These emotions are capable of not only having a powerful, unwanted effect on you physically, but also of having a significant impact the way you conduct your life. Negative emotions can engrain habits of limiting decision making.

One of the benefits of personal development is that it can encourage all the healthy parts of you to grow and the less savoury parts to whither on the vine.  It can improve our general well being and make us more harmonious inside. All of our emotional processes, attitudes, values, our beliefs and motivations are interconnected.

If life was easy then we would have nothing to be motivated for. That is why by bringing in other challenges and goals – be it learning another language or taking up a new creative hobby – you can develop a highly disciplined mind that will assist you in many other areas of life. Maintaining confidence and motivation is the secret to long term success. However, long term success is achieved from short term goals! What this means is through setting smaller goals and then rewarding yourself for achieving them on a regular basis.

Thinking well is being well. There are only a minority of people who achieve success without having any belief in them self or in what they are doing. Be proud of the positive steps you have decided to take in asserting control over your life,

Think well of yourself. Change negative self-talk to positive self-encouragement. Give yourself the same consideration you would give a cherished friend. Learn to become your own cheer leader instead of your own worst critic. Once you have banished these negative thoughts, you should turn your attention towards coming up with an action plan. This plan will form the bedrock of your positive state of mind. You can take this even further by putting reward days into the planner to act as an extra bit of motivation. By breaking your routine down into a series of short term goals you will have more fun and experience a greater sense of accomplishment along the way. Of course this will only work if you are honest and open with yourself. Your journal should never lie otherwise you are only telling lies to yourself and defeating the object of your goal.  

Your plan should be customised according to your own personal set of requirements and informed judgement. The effects of this are that you will be proving to yourself that you can take control of your own destiny. With a clear structure in place, you will never lose focus of the task in hand. This will help to avoid the feelings of helplessness and submissiveness that can happen to people who feel like they are not in control of a situation.

Please visit: http://selfconfidencemagic.com for a FREE Ecourse and Video on how to Quickly And Easily Destroy Negative Thinking Patterns And Become More Confident And Powerful Overnight”

Ways to Develop Your Mental Toughness

Your general mental health stems from how mentally equipped you are to deal with setbacks. Even the most hardened people have , at one time or another, suffered from a mental collapse. If you feel that you find it difficult to cope with the way the world is, you are not alone.  There are many ways we can develop stress and depression because of the sensitive nature of being human,
Sadly, there is still a lot of stigma surrounding issues around mental health. If we fall ill with a physical disease, we are a lot more open to telling others. Feeling down is often seen by the individual as a sign of weakness. If you fall into this category, please take these feelings seriously.
What is it that gives us mental strength? Well, some of it seems to be genetic. Mental health is well documented to be partially attributable to hereditary factors. Experience is also very important when it comes to mental strength. If we are happy with our current lifestyle, we also feel more confident in who we are. If you feel that you need to build up your mental toughness, there are a number of things you can do.
You should talk to people who can help you when you encounter problems. Too many times, people bottle up their emotions from others. Sometimes what we need is a friend who can be there for you. If you develop low feelings that become overwhelming, you should speak to a doctor or other professionals.
A reality check is needed every now and again when things get on top of you. You need to think whether you are taking too much on your plate. Try to keep a focus on your priorities. It can be tempting to try to take on more and more things to forget about feeling low, this is a self defeating strategy. Be smart in the choosing the extra activities you take on; for instance, take up a sport or hobby that builds your emotional strength up.
If there is one word you should remember when it comes to mental strength, it is balance. Balance means that you have a sense that all the important parts of your life are working together in harmony. Each individual has a different concept of balance. This is because we all lead individual lives with different needs. Your sense of balance may change at different stages of your life. You may work longer hours than most, but if it gives you the financial rewards you crave and the time to do them , then you are likely to feel stable and balanced. However, when we are feeling off balance the slightest thing can tip us over the edge. Once we become overwhelmed we are unable to make clear decisions.
The secret to balance is to remain in control of yourself and your goals, to keep moving forwards.
Your sense of balance will change along with your life priorities. As a young adult,  you may find balance through your social life. When you get older, other things such as job security may become more important. Once you reach the middle of your life , you may have become financially secure and want to rediscover yourself again. Taking some time out regularly to consider where you are and where you come from is important. Think carefully about what is important to you in respect of balance and stability.
We make many assumptions about what we ‘need’ to be happy in life. Some of this is because of intimate social pressures such as family, friends, and wider social pressures such as the mass media. The truth is only you know what is best for you. Learn to trust your instincts more and listen to your inner voice. Think hard about whether there is too much going on in your life at the moment. Are your family suffering because you have taken too much on at work? Ask yourself what you would be doing in an ideal world? Then try to implement a strategy that allows you to get as close to it as possible.
Never underestimate the importance of balance in your life.  Getting the balance right will improve your quality of life beyond your wildest dreams. Remember to seek help when it is necessary,  but don’t lose sight of the responsibility you owe to yourself.

Please visit: http://selfconfidencemagic.com for a FREE Ecourse and Video on how to Quickly And Easily Destroy Negative Thinking Patterns And Become More Confident And Powerful Overnight”

How to understand anxiety

At some stage in our life we are going to feel anxious. Whether this is the nervousness before an important interview or the apprehension before making a big personal commitment anxiety is impossible to ignore.  While a bit of anxiety is fine and natural, too much can result in a state of mind that becomes debilitating.  Anxiety is something a lot of people cope with by running away ; when the truth is that the opposite is more effective. Anxiety needs to be stood up to not run away from.
The only way to beat anxiety is to confront it head on. Anxiety is a type of fear and like any fear the best  cure for it is to meet it and resolve it,  The way to do this is to turn the right mental attitudes into habits.  The way to do this begins with  your thoughts because of the way your feelings are influenced by them. For instance, feeling anxious increases the probability of you of you experience anxiety inducing thoughts. A vicious circle  develops between the relationship of anxious thoughts and feelings; one results in another.

If you tell yourself that things are ‘ awful’  ‘terrible’   or horrible then anxiety ratchets up a notch.  Putting things in perspective is the first way  to fend off anxiety. Rather than immediately jumping to a conclusion of something being ‘terrible’ rationalise it as ‘bad’ or ‘unpleasant’ .  Remember that extreme thinking results in extreme reactions.  Mislabelling an event is the easiest way to induce anxiety.
The problem sufferers of anxiety have is the low regard that society at large places it on the spectrum of  mental health. Few  non sufferers fully understand the life changing consequences of  persistent anxiety. Anxiety can induce strong bodily and mental symptoms. Typically these symptoms become misinterpreted as something else.  Anxiety can induce feelings of nausea that can be misconstrued as a sickness. Other times people think they are going crazy because they are unable to make sense of their feelings or the world around them.
Before tackling your anxiety you may wish to consider paying a visit to your doctor who can advise you  on the physical sensations. The doctor can also recommend whether it is safe to begin confronting your anxieties.  Talking things through with the doctor or taking a look at medical websites can help to familiarise yourself with the many common symptoms of  anxiety. Not only is this useful in helping you deal with them , but also may actually help to reduce your anxiety. Why? Because when you get the symptoms you will know why you are having them. Remember much of the fear from anxiety is due to a fear of the unknown.  Anxiety can be difficult to deal with but is not impossible.
Confronting anxiety may sound like a strange method in combating it. After all would it not be better to try and avoid it if we want it to go away? Well no this is not the case as clinical studies have proven. Aversion therapy is one of the most effective forms of fear therapy. If you have a fear of snakes then exposure to them on a gradual and sustained basis can help to overcome the fear? Why because we  gradually become accustomed to them and develop appropriate rational responses to them.
When it comes to facing your fears be it standing in a public place or meeting new people you should aim to manage your exposure in a manageable way.  So in the case of standing in a public place you would  aim to do so for around twenty minutes a day to begin with. By managing your experience you are managing your fear without overwhelming yourself. Gradually you will begin to master your anxiety, and as a consequence, reduce it accordingly.  What ever it is your are exposing yourself  to you need to get the balance right between unpleasantness and exposure time. Too much time and you risk overwhelming yourself but too short a time and you run the risk of never fully confronting your fear.
This is just technique among many to deal with anxiety problems. If your problems are really severe you must see a doctor or mental health professional.  Not only may they be able to provide you with additional treatments but they can also put you in touch with groups of people with similar problems. Remember to take your response to anxiety seriously ; just don’t let it boss you around.

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